Letting Go...

A couple years back God was taking me through a rather lonely season – moving things around – re-shuffling people in and out of my life and just separating myself to Him like He has done so many times before. I will never forget that season. I have been through break-ups and been rejected to my face - but not even the pain of those break-ups or rejections could compare to how my heart hurt in that season.  I cried so much!

My mom fetched me from church after a National Woman’s Day Meeting – and she could see I was hurting… When she asked me what was wrong I explained to her how I felt and what had happened to me that day and I ended off by saying “It hurts so much mama – I just want to die and go to heaven”.

Perhaps the best is to die! But not physically! Dying to ourselves means we gain Christ… and His Love which we so desperately long for… Sometimes we think we have died to ourselves – but these seasons clearly reveal that there is still so much of “you” in you! He’ll remove those around us who serve as support systems –to show us how much we truly need Him and how we’ve learned to rely on others’ love, their approval and encouragement in our lives. He’ll open our eyes to see the truth about what truly is going on in our hearts and in that break down the things that we’ve built in our lives that are of ourselves and not of Him – and that right there is the painful part.

Maybe you are holding on so tight to what you want and refuse to let go and trust that He is for you! He will give you the desires of your heart if you just trust Him and allow Him to make it happen! When Jesus comes to fetch us to spend eternity with Him, chasing after the things of this earth will hold no value at all… the days, weeks, months and years we spend chasing after earthly things in desperation to belong and neglecting the one true love would have been spent in vain…

In pursuing Christ – (HIS KINGDOM) you will have all the things you desire “added unto you”. But seek first… and only then…

Matthew 6:33

King James Version (KJV)

 ³³But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

I dare you today to pursue Him and trust Him to love you the way He desires to…  Let go of YOU being in control and LET GOD be GOD in your life!

The Heart of a Servant

When I was at school I always used to love run errands for teachers… Carrying messages and cleaning the classroom was my pleasure. I may have been the quietest person around but my heart longed to help my teachers and they kept asking me to assist them. I was so excited when I got awarded a certificate in front of the whole school for “helpfulness”.

(My surname was still "van Tonder" at that time - it was before my dad adopted my brother and I)

I can see how even today I am still the same. When I hear something needs to be taken care of I drop what I am doing to take care of it – no matter what the cost. I know who I am… I love to serve. Give me the vision and I will run with it!

I think we can sometimes forget to serve one another in life. Perhaps we think we have become more important than others or that our function in the workplace or ministry is more valuable than serving those who work alongside us. Imagine if I told the Worship leader we cannot do a song in “that” key just because it’s not printed on paper? How does my lack of service make that person’s task a pleasure!? I would hate to make a name for myself – “the one who is never willing to go the extra mile” or “the one to whom it’s always an issue to change some chords”.

I love seeing those I serve happy… especially when I made their vision come to pass like they imagined in their mind.

I grew up listening to Psalty Kids Praise – they sang a song on one of their albums and the words went, “If you want to be great in God’s Kingdom, learn to be a servant of all”. That song still sticks with me and is a good reminder every now and again when I lose sight of what’s important… We tend to think those who give the vision and run the team are the important ones but they are also in service... service to Christ!

Jesus was and still is an amazing servant to us. Every time we open our mouths and ask him for help – He is always there – never turning his back or giving us attitude because he is tired of answering our prayers or meeting our needs… His love is pure and because His love is pure – His service is pure!

Philippians 2:5-7

Amplified Bible (AMP)

⁵Let this same attitude and purpose and [humble] mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus: [Let Him be your example in humility:]

    ⁶Who, although being essentially one with God and in the form of God [^[a]possessing the fullness of the attributes which make God God], did not ^[b]think this equality with God was a thing to be eagerly grasped ^[c]or retained,

    ⁷But stripped Himself [of all privileges and ^[d]rightful dignity], so as to assume the guise of a servant (slave), in that He became like men and was born a human being.  

So let me encourage you… Do not get weary in doing good – for at the appointed time you will reap a great harvest – God see’s your efforts and more so your heart – serve Him with all your might and He will bless you with even more… and if you never get the Praise or Thanks for what you do and it annoys or "hurts" you - perhaps you should take time out to ask yourself if your service is truly "to serve" or to self-promote! Our motives determine our rewards in eternity - not our actions...

Social Pancakes

My cooking and baking definitely needs some work… there are two things I know how to make well and I have a couple friends who can vouch for that… Chicken Curry and Pancakes…

Two weeks ago it rained and I was craving “rainy-weather pancakes”… So I thought I’d share my recipe with you… you can only imagine the amazing fillings you can come up with… from fresh strawberries and cream to chocolate mousse filling, banana and cinnamon and caramel sauce, savoury fillings such as mince, beef strips and yes… sounds gross but I love it – bully-beef friend with some onion and tomato…

So here goes… The pancake recipe:

Ingredients
1½ cups flour (375ml)
2 eggs
600ml milk
pinch of salt

Method
Mix all the ingredients until bubbles form on the top of the mixture.  Then simply pour into a non-stick pan on medium heat. Flip the pancake once bubbles have formed on the surface.

Just like you have a Fondue evening with chocolates and sweeties and all other nice things this is a great way to socialize with a group of friends… get them to bring different fillings and enjoy a great evening together…

Hebrew 10:25 NIV:

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Stretching Your FAITH... to see the WORLD

I went to Sydney Australia in 2004 for a Hillsong Conference. The travel bug bit me so hard I went back twice after that (in 2006 and 2008) had two stopovers in Singapore, then had four trips to the UK and one to Europe (Amsterdam) between 2006 and 2011. Out of all of these trips I have only paid for maybe 3. The rest were a blessing from my Daddy God… I see faith like this… I ask and expect you to do. Sometimes easier said than done especially when you don’t see results…

Sydney Aus 2008



Singapore 2008



Sentosa Island - Singapore - with Katherine



London 2006



Lancaster (+- 4hrs North of Surrey, London) 2008



London 2011

But that’s where I have to ask… What have you done so far? Have you saved? Have you got a Passport or VISA for your destination? Have you set a date? And have you ask God to help you out? Have you done research so your eyes can take it in and your mind can draw pictures of you standing there – experiencing THAT destination… It has to be THAT real! Like Ps. Anthony always says… SEE IT, SAY IT, SEIZE IT!

Step out in faith and set your vision… sow seeds into other’s holidays or whatever God lays on your heart. It may even be so small that it hardly makes a difference – just remember… from a small seed comes a great harvest… R200 can turn into R2000… I can definitely testify to that!

In 2004 (when I was just 21) I gave R500 into Janet Govender’s dream to go with to OZ… It was just the two of us going and at that time she was only 16. I got a call a week later from the Travel Agent telling us that we had to have R5500 for the flights to her ASAP. A week later a lady and her husband who attend our church, heard about my trip and told me God told them to write me a cheque for that exact amount…

Here is a classic example of: PREPARATION MEETS OPPORTUNITY…

The last trip to Australia in 2008 I had it on my heart to go to Hillsong Conference again… So I got my VISA and registered myself for conference. The VISA cost at that time was around R1500 (handling fees of travel agent included) and R900+ for Hillsong registration. Finances for this trip just never came through. I really trusted God and waited on Him… two months prior to the trip I just thought – maybe I am not meant to go this year – so I let it go. I got a call from Kathy (who was organizing the trip) on a Friday Afternoon telling me that one of the group members never got her VISA approved and I am the only person with a VISA and Hillsong Registration – I better pack because the flight leaves tomorrow! I was blessed with an entire trip and I honestly pray God blesses her richly for this! I got to see the world again – this time with a nice big group of friends and God shared so much with me while I was there…

If He did it for me – He can do it for you! Step out and trust God for those dreams to come to pass – he loves you and would love to show you the world that He created for you to live in!

Luke 17:5-6

Amplified Bible (AMP)

⁵The apostles said to the Lord, Increase our faith (that trust and confidence that spring from our belief in God).

    ⁶And the Lord answered, If you had faith (trust and confidence in God) even [so small] like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, Be pulled up by the roots, and be planted in the sea, and it would obey you.

It's all about... ME!

I have spent the past 3-4 years of my life doing God’s job! I got to the Place where I thought – Lord you are not doing it for me so I am going to do it for myself. I don’t need your help ‘cause clearly you can’t get it right. Faith went out the window and in I invited my own logic. If God wasn’t going to do give me a boyfriend – I will go find him myself –  I struggled with insecurity and if God wasn’t going to zap me with His magic wand and fix me - I am going get out there and act like a real tough chick – and I will get it right! And so I went on my way opening doors that should never have been opened and striving in my own strength – over-riding seasons in my life to make my will come to pass. I deleted God in my World and even though I serve in His house at a full time capacity – wanted nothing to do with Him.

John 15:5

Amplified Bible (AMP)

⁵I am the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much (abundant) fruit. However, apart from Me [cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing.

Nevertheless – 4 years and enough heartaches later I have finally arrived at the end of me and accepted the fact that God (being the author of my life) won’t go against His Word, and if He says, it’s not your season, then I’d better listen real quick and find out what season I am in and what He requires of me in this season. Let’s get real… if you don’t have what you want in the season you’re in… you can become quite obsessed with getting that thing and become extremely frustrated.

I must admit – I have never been good with reading season’s – not cause I am stupid – but because I am stubborn and refuse to listen ‘cause I have been too afraid that I will hear something from God I don’t want to hear. Many friendships have come to the end of their season in my life but because I held on so tight to those friendships I just ended up feeling rejected by people. I get it… I get that it changes and that today one friend is here – tomorrow another one comes. Don’t be afraid – God sends answers for every season – are you listening? Sometimes His answer to your prayer will be something as simple as… Just trust me.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

Amplified Bible (AMP)

Ecclesiastes 3

 ¹TO EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven:

    ²A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted,

    ³A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build up,

    ⁴A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

    ⁵A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

    ⁶A time to get and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away,

    ⁷A time to rend and a time to sew, a time to keep silence and a time to speak,

    ⁸A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

    ⁹What profit remains for the worker from his toil?

    ¹⁰I have seen the painful labor and exertion and miserable business which God has given to the sons of men with which to exercise and busy themselves.

    ¹¹He has made everything beautiful in its time. He also has planted eternity in men's hearts and minds [a divinely implanted sense of a purpose working through the ages which nothing under the sun but God alone can satisfy], yet so that men cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

Whether you are single and waiting for that right guy or girl to come along – enjoy the season and trust God, whether you want a child, enjoy the season and trust God, whether finances are bad and you have big things you need to take care of – enjoy the season and just trust God…

Psalm 84:11-12

Amplified Bible (AMP)

¹¹For the Lord God is a Sun and Shield; the Lord bestows [present] grace and favor and [future] glory (honor, splendor, and heavenly bliss)! No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.

    ¹²O Lord of hosts, blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man who trusts in You [leaning and believing on You, committing all and confidently looking to You, and that without fear or misgiving]!

Re-Invent yourself!

I was flicking through all the channels dstv has to offer on Monday and stopped at a TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY on Holly Madison from the reality tv show, The Girls Next Door. Friends in her circle described her over and over again as someone who keeps re-inventing herself.



HOLLY MADISON



In her mind she had a picture of exactly who and what she wanted to be – and worked towards becoming that person. Although she may have taken it too far as to change her-self to become the perfect girlfriend and possible future wife for Hugh Hefner and ended up losing herself in the process - there is a valuable lesson in the re-invention side of her.

How often do we go through life and get stuck in a rut of same-old, same-old…? Same hair-do, same clothes, same make-up, same attitude, same response or reaction to the things that happen around you, same routine – same everything! Life becomes boring, dull and predictive.

I have grown up not caring what I look like – it’s never been important to me. The things that have been important to me have been things like; eternity, winning Souls, God’s calling on my life… and loving God. I never explored anything new!  I never worked on the other side of me. How I treat people, eating habits, how I dress – on and off stage and even work… and just plain and simple – loving myself! Who wants to be so heavenly minded – that they are no earthly good?

I am so grateful for a friend God has brought into my life, Miss Arlene Pillay. She has taught me so much by just being a great example! She always dresses well, looks good, has fun, treats everyone the same and is still a lovely woman of God! She knows that she’s worth the expensive hair treatment – the extra time on the nails and hunting for that outfit she’d like to wear!



Me and Arlene



Be inspired – get creative – be fruitful and multiply your gifts (and wardrobe). Let’s throw out the old and those things that hold us back from moving forward and becoming the person God has called us to be!

To get new results you need to do new things! Sometimes you just need to step out and break the routine – change the way you look at yourself and your life… have fun and enjoy every moment you have… Re-Invent yourself by renewing your mind. As you renew your mind you will be transformed to what you see in that mind of yours! Who knows – the new you could attract the man of your dreams - or organize you a great promotion at work!

Remember – you can never change yourself on your own… Ask the Holy Spirit to help you become a better you – ask him for GOD inspired ideas and changes – and allow God’s Word to open your eyes to a new way of living!

Romans 12:2

Amplified Bible (AMP)

²Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

Finish what you Start...

A couple weeks back I had a chat to one of my piano students’ mom’s. Her daughter wanted to stop her piano lessons as she felt like she stood in her sibling’s shadow… But her mom wouldn’t let her as she wanted to teach her daughter how to follow through on decisions she makes – no matter how good or bad… or how successful or unsuccessful she is in that thing – to stick it out and stay committed until the course is completed.

I found these chocolates and sweeties in my drawer at the office – I have opened and started feasting on them all… but never finished any of them – what a waste - and it made me think a little about my own life…

What have I started but never finished? I have written many songs – but never polished them to the place where they are ready enough for me to step into studio to record. I have started many creative projects in my scrapbooking that have also not been completed… So it goes on with other things such as breaking bad habits such as drinking far too much coke (lol), getting into shape by running on a weekly basis or whatever you have going on in your life… and so we train ourselves to back out of anything that requires us to push through when the going gets tough.

Philippians 1:6 says that… ⁶And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.

 … If you’ve ever tried to put God’s way of doing things into man’s way of doing things then you have the wrong picture of who He is and how faithful he is to even, through our struggles, continue to push us until He completes that work in us.  Don’t give up prematurely… you may just abort what God is trying to do…

Romans 5:3-4

³Moreover [let us also be full of joy now!] let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance.

    ⁴And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of ^[a]character (approved faith and ^[b]tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of] ^[c]joyful and confident hope...

At the Beginning...

Thought I'd start a blog on anything and everything... Whatever comes to mind - even if it's just little comments... Perhaps something can inspire you or help you in areas you get stuck in...

Let's see what comes from this...