I have been doing a lot of thinking about people who serve. I am surrounded by them and I most certainly am one myself.
I was having a conversation with a friend this week saying how much I admire my brother and a friend of ours, who no matter what the request are always willing to help out with the greatest of attitudes! At times they even jump up to serve even when you haven’t asked them to – volunteering their services because serving is a part of who they are. They hear you like a certain type of meal – so they prepare it for you to bless you. They hear that you like a certain band, so they download the album and make a copy of it so you can enjoy it. You ask if they can quickly go to the store and get you something to eat and they do it!
But there is a side of the server that people don’t understand – it’s the same side they themselves don't even understand! So for the uneducated, frustrated and confused person who don’t understand their own behavior let’s take a closer look.
Nature of a server:
Someone who serves loves to know you appreciate their service. Not because they want praise or to be noticed – but because they like to know how they are serving you with adds value to your life. Jesus was an amazing server – Phil 2:7 “But (Jesus) made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men”.
When a server feels like you just expect service from them or don’t appreciate their gift of service they will most certainly stop serving you. Serving is a part of who they are and if they don’t feel appreciate they feel rejected. They do after all serve you with things that cost them… such as their time or material things.
For the server:
One thing servers need to perhaps take into consideration is their motive to serve. This will alleviate a lot of funny business and hurt feelings. Always ask yourself important questions like… Why am I serving this person this way? Where are my boundaries for myself and this person? How will this act of service impact my life and can I afford it? (Financially or time wise) Is Jesus my inspiration for serving or do I serve man for his approval? and if it is something big… Did God really instruct me to do this or am I acting out of an emotional desire to serve? Eph 6:7 Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men.
It’s always easier to serve someone when your heart is to please God and not man because you know He is the rewarder and that He appreciates your service. As servers we can sometimes expect as much from people as we are willing to give them – but it would be unwise to. Remember that not everyone is the same or even as willing to serve you in return. All our giftings are different.
One thing I have seen lacking in myself as a server has been boundaries. I’ll give and share and do things for people until I am empty and realize it’s unappreciated and then all of a sudden set a tight boundary that puzzles the other person and makes them feel rejected. Setting boundaries earlier will definitely help you to not give out more than you can. It’s up to you as a server to teach people what they can and cannot expect from you. They will respect you more if you have healthy boundaries.
I most certainly do not have all the answers, but I do know this – appreciate the person who always serves you and let them know what they contribute is appreciated because they do take inventory to see if the price is worth it… and as for the server, always check your motive – you can never get hurt when your heart is in the right place! TD Jakes once said that a server cannot be abused unless he/she allows someone to abuse them.
Hope that helps!
